i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
