Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
