I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize
