Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
