I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Randomize
