I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
