what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
