we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
