idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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