HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
