Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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