home. puking in laundry basket.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
