I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
