it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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