My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize
