doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
