do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Randomize
