And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
