his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
