While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
