six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Terrible idea I love it
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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