ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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