I think my vagina is haunted
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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