rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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