is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
