he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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