Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I forget how to act sober
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
