Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
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