I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
