he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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