Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
she woke up with a sticky ear
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Randomize
