So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
