Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Randomize
