I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I'm at about main and main street
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
