do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
