So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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