idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
