How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
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