I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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