dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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