I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
