I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
