yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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