Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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