his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
