Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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