I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Found your dick twin last night
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize
