one two three fourrrrnication!
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Randomize
