So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Im part way to drunk.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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