so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
