TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
im calling her cock vulture from now on
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Randomize
