is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
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