This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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