My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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