I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
